Not in a happy mood today. I ended it with Keys because I was sick and tired of trying to be what she wanted me to be. I’ll never be goth, I’ll never be emo, and I’ll never be able to live up to her expectations. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I imagine that this is what a breakup feels like. Lots of tears,lots of horrible flashbacks, lots of constant reminders of a friendship that still existed a day ago, lots of anger.
When I was talking to one of the girls in my school, we talked about religion, and I told her I was pagan. And then she was all “No way me too wow awesome” and I was like “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” because I’ve never met other pagans my age before and I forgot Keys for a bit and was really happy.
I’ve been thinking for a while about what other people portray paganism to be since I saw a very chavvy girl wearing a pentagram necklace. Now of course, she could have also been pagan, but most people see a pentacle as being a sign of satan. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS CAME FROM IF ANYONE DOES THEN COMMENTS WOULD BE APPRECIATED BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, WTF???
For anyone that doesn’t know, a pentacle looks like this:
This is mainly associated with Wicca, a branch of paganism. The five points represent earth, air, fire, water, and spirit. It’s actually used in a lot of religions, so why it’s meant to represent evil, idk.
Paganism is really just a general term, and there are many sub branches, Wicca being quite a well known one. the general idea of it is having an affinity with nature, and I like to think that I take in many different elements from different branches, as some pagans will do.
I grew up in a pagan family. My parents are both pagan, and it’s always been sort of normal to do the rituals, buy the crystals, and incorporate it into my daily life. I used to think that being pagan was wrong when I was little, and try to hide it, but now I’ve realised that hiding it makes it seem shameful, which it isn’t. The school nerd now wears eye-liner and rainbows, so believing in something a little different shouldn’t really surprise people.
Whelp, I was in a bit of a reflective mood today, and this is obviously what comes out when I’m feeling reflective. And so the moral of the story is: Don’t try and hide who you are. Especially if it’s just to please others. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. And if you like to judge people, take a good hard look in the mirror. You might be surprised at the similarities.
I can’t think of two. This one has just felt like the most relatable song I’ve heard in a long time. One of the lines was actually something I kept muttering under my breath to force myself to end it with Keys. Here’s Numb by Linkin Park. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXYiU_JCYtU